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4chan

From Nocyclopedia

4chan (aka Meme Generator - because you think that making Advice dog variations are funny, way to go for spreading more cancer, everyone HATES it. Pretty bad comparison eh?) is the Africa of the Internets; at first it seems exciting and exotic, but more likely than not you will leave bewildered, stunned, scared and with AIDS. It's also where all the vandals come from, at least they did in 2016.

The stages of a /b/tard

File:Epg-troll.png
If you don’t understand this pic, then you are not a /b/tard.

/b/tard is the name given to a typical 4chan user, and /b/tards go through four main stages upon visiting 4chan: First horror, then denial, then acceptance, and finally fapping. There is technically a fifth stage that comes once you have become a well-rounded agingfag, which is trolling/shitposting for teh lulz.

  1. The Newfag Stage: "OMG OMG he posted CP, get him!!!"
  2. The Agingfag Stage: "I can fap to this. Nice thread OP."
  3. The Oldfag Stage: "Needs moar pooper."

Once the /b/tard reaches the final stage there is no saving them - they are destined to live alone before their imprisonment or suicide at age 28.2.

What is CP?

Nobody quite knows what "CP" is, as it is an expert at covering its tracks, leaving only 404 errors in its wake. It is believed that only the Pope and several of his most trusted priests know what it is. Despite this several theories exists as to what CP might be: Captain Picard, Coldplay, Chinese person, Caravan Palace, Catholic priest, Cheese Pizza, Cunt punt, Cone piece, Cell Phone, Centipoise, Corporal Punishment, Crystal Palace, Candle Power, Copy pasta, Computer Processor, Cerebral palsy, Cat Penis, Conditional proof, Captured Pikachu, Cock Phight, Cold Phonecall, Cumbria Police... See Also: The Typical 4Chan User